As a former high school literacy teacher, one of the things I’m often asked by parents is how they can get their kids to enjoy reading. The kids love video games. They love iPads. They love texting. They have zero patience for reading and won’t pick up an actual book even if it’s the only entertainment available. They’d rather stare at a wall.
This can feel sad and frustrating and mystifying for parents who love reading and have filled their children’s rooms with their own favorite childhood books or the newest hip zombie book only to see their gifts accumulate dust in favor of basically everything and anything else.
Don’t despair! Reading is a learned behavior, and there’s actually a lot a family can do to foster a love of reading in kids at any age, including the grumpiest, most resistant tweens and teens.
Let me back up and explain why I am so confident in this as an absolute fact.
Before working in tech, I was a certificated classroom teacher and specialized in literacy interventions for teens. My classroom was typically full of 14 –16 year olds who were anywhere from functionally illiterate to chronically low-skilled readers. I often taught phonics and the absolute basics to giant teenage boys who had already given themselves homemade tattoos. For a variety of reasons, these kids were significantly behind their peers in this one critical dimension of life. It was an odd juxtaposition.
Over the years, I learned how to quickly take a group of these kids from reading only a single page in a book a day to choosing their own books and asking me for “just 5 more minutes” of silent reading time. The root issue for most was helping them overcome the anxiety and build far more confidence and experience (fluency) as readers. From that, comprehension skills advance as well. Confidence and competence become an interdependent and uplifting cycle. Because I did this every day with multiple different groups of kids for many years, I was able to learn what tactics worked best and which of my behaviors motivated vs. demotivated them.
Once we got into a rhythm, the routine of silent reading became a calming anchor in weekly routine and something they found to be restorative and healing. They quickly appreciated that silent reading was was a meditative escape from the otherwise chaotic day.
I brought this methodology to my private tutoring business and partnered with parents to implement at home. Parents were typically shocked by the fast results when I explained what I’d learned in teaching. This is a wonderful, calming and reenergizing routine for any family, classoom or homeschool group.
We read together, daily.
4 key elements to create a family reading routine:
✓ Create the right reading environment and daily family reading time
Routine 20 — 30 mins of sustained silent reading 4 — 5 days a week, same time, same amt of time, don’t go over — cliffhangers are okay.
Silence — tv and electronics are all off and out of the room.
Comfort for focus — bright lighting, no sleeping, cozy couch okay, not bed, no food or distractions.
Refocus attention as needed— agree on a signal for you to help refocus them on the reading when needed. A soft touch on the shoulder or a soft tap on the book can help refocus kids without feeling punitive.
Keep a visible clock (not phone,) and clear end time written down to helps kids track their own progress. This is especially important at first when building this routine. 5 minutes of reading can feel like an eternity at first to kids and they need to see they are making progress as readers each day as the first 5 minutes goes by faster and faster. They will notice this a couple weeks in and feel proud.
For younger kids, give them silent encouragement via silent hand stamp or little sticker towards the end. If you’re doing it well, they’ll notice but keep reading. Positive silent feedback during the best moment of their behavior will build warm fuzzy associations with that reading behavior.
✓ Give a wide range of choice and independence
Free choice is critical here. As the facilitator, you should make it clear you really don’t care what the child is reading as long as they are reading.
You can check out my sample list of books I’d include in a library — it includes books for 4th grade — 12th just to give a sense of the range I’ve learned to include and some inspiration.
Give them a really wide variety of mostly non-fiction books, magazines, comics etc. of different levels and interest that are age-appropriate choices. Check out our recommended books lists.
Give them space to choose and show indifference towards whatever they choose.
It’s okay to try books and quit or change books until they find one that feels right.
Stay strictly focused on encouraging the behavior of reading. Avoid putting any energy towards the short term learning or outcomes from reading.
Accountability — focus on correcting only on the behavior of focused reading during the time, not the quality or comprehension of the book: “Keep reading, you’re doing great.” If it takes a while for the child to settle into actually reading you can extend the time so they realize it will be easier to pass the time by reading than stalling.
Do not quiz kids or put any pressure on the outcome. Don’t even ask them what they learned or what they read. Resist the urge to teach something explicitly.
✓ Everyone reads together
This means everyone is reading their own book of choice in the same room. This is key because you’re creating warm family time where everyone is holding everyone else accountable and modeling for one another what silent reading looks and feels like. It’s normal quiet time they will come to rely on and crave.
Mom, dad, nanny, kids, visitors — everyone in the house reads in the same physical space.
At first, they will resist and test your resolve. You will focus on establishing the routine to let them know you aren’t letting this go.
Ways to introduce this new routine in your household:
“Electronics are getting in the way of family time and down time. We decided we want to set aside time where our family reads together. This is a new routine that we are going to try for 2 months. Here are the dates and this is how we are going to ensure it happens. We will use a timer that you can see, so you know how much time is left. Our expectations are that everyone reads and you get to choose what you read.”
As parents you can think of this like any other family habit. This is just what our family does. Period.
When you’re done, You might close with another family routine like walking the dog or starting to cook dinner together etc.
Key reminder: Never quiz or ask about the reading and don’t lead a family reading debrief. Don’t even try to explain what you read to get them to do the same. If you do, it will poison the norms and trust and zero anxiety atmosphere you are investing in building and backfire. Just quietly transition to another routine. Instead, end with a stretch and a snack or some other routine that helps everyone transition to the next activity.
✓ Build an engaging library
I’m always adding books that might work in a reluctant reader library. Check out my Amazon list of reluctant reader library book suggestions.
There should be a heavy percentage of nonfiction in your collection. Reluctant readers often seem to be more easily drawn-in by non-fiction. They want to read because they are curious about a specific topic.
Mostly pick books that are at reading level as well as 1–2 levels below your chid’s current reading level. Easier books are more fun to read for both kids and adults. This will help them relax and enjoy reading. It will also help them gain fluency and practice feeling enhanced fluency, which will add to thier positive associations with reading. Once they learn to enjoy, they will naturally stretch themselves and read at level later.) A lexile level is a way to level books and reading abilities. Lexile levels roughly can correlate to grade level but it totally varies by student. You can estimate your child’s lexile level online or talk to their teacher to get a general sense. But also kids will self-select text that they are most comfortable with and this is usually a really strong indicator.
If your child picks up a book then quickly puts it back, it may look too hard for them. Kids assess whether they will be able to engage with a book. Font size, layout, headings, content topics, title, graphics, — they all are variables that affect engagement. If a book looks hard, your child will probably never read it even when they are ready later.
Offer breadth as much as possible. Stay away from tons of series books . You are intentionally providing a buffet for your child that will help them learn to like and experience success reading a wider range of content. This will up their overall confidence and engagement in the longer term.